: Name: ~dreamer~; Location: Hong Kong

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Dance like no one is watching...

...love like you'll never be hurt...

...sing like no one is listening...

...live like it's heaven on earth.

Life is beautiful!

.: wishlist :.
tix to Alicia Keys concert
new digital camera
new phone (pda)
more office clothes
~~new bikini :)~~
more shoes
plane ticket to manila
carebear stuffed toy
~~big black bag~~

.: previous posts :.

.: archives :.
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
March 2005
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
May 2008
June 2008

.: friends :.
marcus
piggy wing
chi-licious
becks
gloria
l.a.
chuckles
gengkukay
pretty zara
mai crabbedstar
ryeness
the goddess
astron's notebook
empress maruja
fei flora
magoo

.: thanks :.
blogger
blogskins
designer

What have you got to say?

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

the storm is gone, the sky is blue. everything is clear.

lately, i have been trying to be a person that i'm not, trying to get the attention of a certain someone. until i realized...it's not really what i want. and that certain someone was the one who made me realize it with what seemed to be our last conversation:

[09:23] mr. wachowski: Buzz!!
[09:23] mr. wachowski: hey
[09:23] fashionista: what's up?
[09:23] Meebo Message: mr. wachowski appears offline. Your message may not be received.
[09:23] mr. wachowski: wala naman
[09:23] mr. wachowski: kakauwe ko lang
[09:23] mr. wachowski: ikaw?
[09:23] mr. wachowski: san kaw?
[09:24] fashionista: opis
[09:32] mr. wachowski: ahhh
[09:32] mr. wachowski: o kmsta naman work dyan?
[09:35] fashionista: ayoko na, naghahanap ako ng iba
[09:36] mr. wachowski: bakit?
[09:36] mr. wachowski: ngek
[09:36] fashionista: it's not for me heheh
[09:41] mr. wachowski: Buzz!!
[09:42] mr. wachowski: naks
[09:42] mr. wachowski: ayan nanaman ung mga banat mo eh
[09:42] mr. wachowski: lahat nlng,, not for me...
[09:42] mr. wachowski: haaaaay
[09:43] fashionista: huh?
[09:43] fashionista: alam mo ba anong ginagawa ko ngayon?
[09:44] mr. wachowski: ano?
[09:44] fashionista: hayyy, dami dami sinasabi di naman pala alam ano work ko. tsk!
[09:54] mr. wachowski: ano??
[09:56] fashionista: researcher
[09:56] fashionista: in an executive search firm
[09:57] mr. wachowski: ohhh
[09:57] mr. wachowski: e ayaw mo na dyan?
[09:57] fashionista: ayoko
[09:58] fashionista: i hate headhunting

i was trying to sound as casual as i can since i wasn't in the mood to talk to him at that time . but his words really irritated me and so it came to this:

[09:58] mr. wachowski: ohhh
[09:58] mr. wachowski: e anong gusto mo?
[09:58] Meebo Message: mr. wachowski is online
[09:58] mr. wachowski: lakas lakas mo mag clubbing den mawawalan ka ng work?
[09:59] fashionista: sinabi ko bang aalis na ko? naghahanap nga ng iba e.
[09:59] fashionista: at ano namang pakelam mo?
[10:03] mr. wachowski: bahala ka
[10:04] fashionista: yup! thanks!
[10:05] mr. wachowski: e hndi ka naman makikinig eh
[10:05] mr. wachowski: palage mo nlng gusto mo nasusunod
[10:06] fashionista: at sino naman dapat kong pakinggan?
[10:07] fashionista: ikaw?
[10:07] fashionista: LOL!
[10:08] mr. wachowski: ok.. salamat din ah
[10:08] fashionista: anytime.

[10:09] mr. wachowski: bakit ba ang laki ng galit mo aprin saakin?
[10:09] fashionista: hindi ba baliktad? ikaw ang galit sa akin.
[10:10] mr. wachowski: siraulo ka na ba?
[10:11] fashionista: alamo mo, sawang-sawa na ko! ganito na lng ba tayo lagi?
[10:13] fashionista: paikot-ikot lang e
[10:16] mr. wachowski: ikaw eh
[10:21] fashionista: huh? don't turn this around. ikaw tong mainit ang dugo sa akin for some reason.
[10:24] mr. wachowski: ako?
[10:24] mr. wachowski: hndi ba ikaw?
[10:24] mr. wachowski: e ano ung msg mo saakin sa friendster?
[10:26] fashionista: o e ano ba intindi mo dun?
[10:26] mr. wachowski: paulit ulit nlng
[10:27] fashionista: ok para hindi na paulit ulit at nakakapagod
[10:27] fashionista: can we please end this now?
[10:28] mr. wachowski: what du u mean?
[10:31] fashionista: tell me what you want from me
[10:31] fashionista: my friendship?
[10:31] mr. wachowski: see?
[10:32] mr. wachowski: sino ung may problema?
[10:32] mr. wachowski: bakit ganun?
[10:32] mr. wachowski: naghahanap ka ng kapalit?
[10:32] mr. wachowski: ganun ba dpat?
[10:32] mr. wachowski: msyado kang fragile pagdating saakin, parang takot na takot ka?
[10:33] fashionista: ok..what else?
[10:33] mr. wachowski: see
[10:33] mr. wachowski: haaaaaay
[10:34] fashionista: no...continue
[10:34] fashionista: tell me
[10:36] mr. wachowski: no
[10:38] fashionista: o bakit ayaw mo?
[10:38] fashionista: sabihin mo na lahat
[10:38] fashionista: para matapos na to
[10:39] fashionista: hindi yung unti-unti
[10:39] mr. wachowski: meng,, e ikaw?? ano bang gusto mo mangyari satin?
[10:39] mr. wachowski: gusto mo bang magkabalikan tyo?
[10:39] mr. wachowski: ano?

when he asked those questions, that's when it hit me. i stared at my screen for the longest time, at loss for words. i didn't know what to answer. and for the first time in all our conversations, i tried to dodge the question:

[10:41] fashionista: gusto kong matapos na to
[10:42] mr. wachowski: ano?
[10:42] mr. wachowski: anong gusto mong tapusin?
[10:45] fashionista: your games
[10:45] fashionista: your acts
[10:53] mr. wachowski: bye
[10:53] fashionista: bye!

i wasn't able to concentrate with work after that. i wasn't expecting him to respond this way. he caught me off guard with his questions and his answers. i was actually expecting him to avoid it and change the topic again like what he usually does.

but after thinking about it for a few hours, it all became clear to me. i now know the answer. i don't want us to get back together. although we have feelings for each other, being together will only complicate things.

and now, i can finally move on.

- posted by ~dreamer~ @ 9:05 PM

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